Chemotherapy - Day 52

Wow, it has been three weeks since I last wrote an actual update about my chemotherapy. I didn't mean to take such a long break, but since then I have been very busy juggling work, my personal life, and getting into the first week of my last cycle. Right now I am midway through the second week of cycle three. I honestly was so worn out and miserable all of last week that I did not get online for any reason, and I especially didn't feel like typing out a blog about it. Maybe I will be able to remember most of the things that have happened in the last few weeks.. let's see.

(Also, this is a long one, so if you don't have time to read it all that's fine. At least skip to the end, where I will talk about the good news I got from the doctor last week.)

09.23.09: Chemotherapy - Day 52

The last time I wrote, I was halfway through my second week of cycle two. I managed to make it through that work week pretty well (didn't get sick or anything) and had a great weekend. Uncle Anthony, Aunt Son Cha, and Yassir Janah made the trip from various parts of Oklahoma to Waterford, MS, for a Saturday visit. My cousin Taylor also came down from Memphis. The day was short but really fun. We had a good lunch (they stopped at Whole Foods in Memphis and got some awesome stuff) and spent the afternoon at Wall Doxey park playing disc golf. They were all first timers with the exception of Taylor, so Adam and I went easy on them. Everyone actually did pretty good, though we didn't keep score to save Yassir the embarrassment. Speaking of Yassir, being the cycling snob that he is, he had a lot of fun at the expense of my bike. Apparently reflectors and kickstands aren't cool. Whatever man.

Adam and I went back to the park Sunday and played disc golf with some local friends. I was AWESOME by the way. I didn't win but still did better than usual. He and I rode bikes for a little bit after that, so that was a good afternoon. I haven't been able to get back on the bike since that day, but that will change this weekend (or if the weather gets better this week).

My last week of cycle two I stayed really busy. Monday I just worked, and Tuesday I went in after my morning chemo. Tuesday after work I drove to Corinth, MS to stay the rest of the week at the Holiday Inn; I was asked to come work at the Pickwick Lake utility company in Selmer, TN. This was their first week using our software live (some other guys from work had been training them throughout August/September). It was really good to go out there and work. I'm good friends with all the guys I was working with and things went smoothly for the most part. Also, it was kinda nice to be out of the house for a few days.

When I came back to Tupelo on Friday night I met up with some friends at Old Venice and had dinner. Bruce Mapp, Gary and Kalee Stanton, Christie Wilbanks, Adam Hale and Brandon Leslie were all able to make it and we had a good time up there. I was pretty worn out from the week by that point, so I didn't stay out too late, but it was worth it to see everyone.

I don't remember if I did much on Saturday, but Saturday night Mike Poole came by the house. He, Adam and I pretty much sat around and played Beatles: Rock Band all night, which was really cool. I haven't played it much since that weekend, but that is a fun game.

Also during this week/weekend, football started up so I was watching my fantasy leagues constantly. This year is the first time I have played fantasy and actually cared about the outcome, so Sunday was a pretty intense day. I ended up 1-1, winning in the league with friends but losing in the work league. There's more money riding on the friend league, though, so it worked out. This past weekend I had better luck and went 2-0 in very decisive victories. Here's hoping the Holly Springs Hitmen/Diamond Cutters keep up the good work this weekend.

Monday I started my third cycle of chemo. It SUCKED. I had heard before that the third cycle was the worst, because the body is so broken down after the other treatments. I didn't really believe it, though, because my second cycle was a good deal easier than the first. I was very wrong.

After the first day I was already getting more tired than usual. I slept in the recliner while getting my treatments (something I am usually able to resist). I didn't feel like reading the books I took with me, or talking to anyone that was there for very long. I don't remember much about Monday afternoon or night, because I really didn't do more than sleep and eat a little dinner once I got home every day.

Tuesday I got all three of my medicines, so that day was a little longer. The medicine I get on Tuesdays, bleomicin, always gives me a sore throat and red cheeks, and neither of those went away for the rest of the week. That made it hard to talk on the phone, which I didn't really do until Sunday or Monday of this week.

Wednesday I had to go to the Oxford office again, which I was really dreading since it usually takes so long to get seen to and get out of there. Thankfully my IV was able to get started pretty quickly, and I got out of there by around 1:30. It was much better than the times before, and a lot of that has to do with the nurse, Kenna, who was very nice. She remembered how miserable I was last time and paid a lot of attention to make sure all my bags ran fine. Mom and I ate at Volta Taverna again, and though I felt too bad to really enjoy it, it was good food. Then we went home and I probably just went to sleep for a while.

Thursday and Friday are a blur. I went back to the Bartlett office and got my treatments, and slept most of the time I was there. On one of those days I finished reading through Tim O'Brien's "The Things They Carried," which I had started re-reading a few weeks ago but ended up putting to the side and forgetting about. It is a very cool book that I have read a few times over the years and enjoy every time.

The weekend was rough as expected. I did nothing Friday night besides watch a Woody Allen movie in my room. Saturday I felt especially bad and did absolutely nothing all day. I had been very nauseous all night and it just got worse Saturday morning. I felt totally full from all the food and liquids I'd taken in over the week, and due to some of the more unpleasant chemo side effects, I had not been able to get rid of any of it all week. I sat in a chair all day watching TV and not eating anything or drinking much. If you have never tried to do this, it is very boring and hard to do. I was so nauseous I tried to induce vomitting multiple times, but could never do it. Off and on all day I could smell and taste the chemo medicine, and that made it all worse. I was wearing a hoodie that I had worn during one of the treatments and it smelled like the doctor's office to me and was making me even more sick. I never really got any relief Saturday, but after skipping lunch and dinner I finally felt less bloated.

Sunday morning I had a headache, but overall I felt much better than the day before. By the afternoon/evening I was doing noticibly better, though I still felt nauseous off and on. I still couldn't bring myself to drink any water, though, because the taste of it was making me feel sick. I spent the rest of Sunday doing very little besides hanging out around the house, then getting ready for work the next day.

Monday I felt much better and came on in to work. It was a slow day for me, which was nice because feeling better and feeling good are two different things in this case. As I expected, being at work and feeling "useful" really got me back to feeling well, and by Monday afternoon I was more talkative and was able to return many of the phone calls I had missed over the last week. When I got home I was able to catch the season premieres of "How I Met Your Mother" and "Big Bang Theory," which were both hilarious. I'm a big TV-watcher since I got my DVR and those are two of my favorites.

Tuesday I went in for my bleomicin treatment and, even though the nurse started the IV in the same spot that I was stuck three times last week, I never even noticed the needle go in. It was over really quickly, and I probably wouldn't have even thought much about it yesterday if it hadn't been for the sore throat and red face it gave me. Afterwards I stopped and got some breakfast and headed to work, and had a pretty good day. I called Gary on the way to work to wish him a happy birthday, and once I got to the office I got a few things accomplished (namely securing some days off around the end of October/early November so I can see KISS live in New Orleans on Halloween!). I talked to a lady here about the next traveling job I will be doing, which starts in about two weeks, and got all the info about that that I needed.

That about sums up most of cycle three for me. I am feeling much better now, but it was rough for a while there. Next Tuesday is my last treatment, and I cannot wait. I'm probably going to buy myself something awesome after I get done with it.

The doctor told me Monday that, according to my cycle two bloodwork, all of my tumor marker levels have returned to normal. Therefore, once I am done with my last shot, I guess that means I'll be cancer-free! I should not have to have any future treatments or surgeries for this problem, but just be able to monitor my condition through periodic checkups. Now, notice I'm saying "should" because I really don't know whether or not anything will come back, but my doctor seems pretty confident that the chemotherapy has killed the cancer cells and soon things will get back to "normal" for me (whatever that means, I don't remember!). Thank you to all of you that have shown interest and followed my progress. Knowing that so many people care about my well-being has been really uplifting and encouraging, and has made this process a lot easier than it should have been. I will more-than-likely give more updates as I get them (i.e. after my next treatment, after checkups, etc.) but those may be few and far between. So thank you again and God bless.

Ben Robinson